Good Monday morning...

… and with the combination of the high winds of Saturday afternoon, the top-heavy condition of one of the eucalyptus trees on the property, and the moist soil beneath, we now have a huge tree leaning into the condominium building next to ours, on the very unit that our friends, Bill and Mary, lived prior to their move to Michigan.  I went into that unit to check for water… and the memories came flooding back.  Fortunately, there was much less water inside than the memories that flooded my mind!

Triggers in grief are abundant.  It has been six months since Bill died, two and a half years since Mary died.  Every day I am reminded of the kind of friendship Lisa and I enjoyed with Bill and Mary, and every day I am reminded of the passion Bill and I shared for our work with grieving people.  Now, I am sitting with a pretty painful grief myself.  With all that is going on in and around our lives, when Bill and Mary lived here, their friendship, faith and wisdom would have been the perfect sounding board for Lisa and me to make good decisions from.

Life continues to change.  People have moved into the units that Bill and Mary once occupied, good people.  Lisa and I have adjusted to our lives without these two amazing friends, and we continue to be grateful for the wonderful people we have in our lives.  But grief keeps the love of our friendship with Bill and Mary alive.  Seems odd, but I am very grateful for the many triggers that snap me into thinking, “I’m going to give Bill a call” or “I’m going to bring this up on our walk in the morning.”  My grief is my link to a friendship for which I am grateful to God that I had.

I have grown to understand that the pain of grief is undeniable, and intense at first, but then becomes increasingly tolerable with time.  I hold onto that truth when sitting with the people who attend our bereavement groups, the ones that Bill and I co-facilitated for many years, and which cemented our friendship.  Two of those bereavement groups will meet today… and I will remember that Bill used to sit in these groups with me during an amazing season of our careers in hospice.  We have often been mindful of the 6-month mark in grief, generally speaking, as a time when the pain of grief can feel most intense.

The tree will be removed, the condo will be repaired, and life will go on.  But the memories that were triggered as I entered that unit are mine to deal with.  Fortunately, the memories are so good that it doesn’t take too long to find joy in their presence.  My message for you on this Monday morning is to pause when something triggers a memory in you and find an appropriate place for the memory… either as one to cherish or one to banish, and thank God that He is able to use it for good in your life.

For His glory,

Pastor Mike